Reimagining Games to Foster Empathy

Jennifer Dutton’s attempts at rebranding play with vegan values.

It was all cool bananas while our children were very small and only at home with me. Their Dad and I had a captive audience. We were the news source. The narrators to life. It was easy to lead games and do activities that didn't role-play hurting animals.

But then as the children got older with a few birthdays under the belt, things changed. We let the 'electronic babysitter' make an appearance; TV entered their lives. More playdates with other children expanded their horizons and some kindergarten attendance mixed into the weekly routine. We weren't the one source of information anymore, and boy do kids absorb a lot. And fast.

To my mild horror, suddenly animals were being rounded up onto trucks and fenced in as they 'played farms'. Rolls of wrapping paper were now poised as fishing rods " Look look look Mum LOOK I caught one!". Suddenly all manner of imaginative role-play was unfolding, engaging in various less-than-vegan-friendly ideas.

It was a new season to traverse. We had to tackle rebranding these activities in our home (and hopefully in our children's minds) while still encouraging exploration, all while telling them the truth.

My husband and I didn't withdraw them from the world. As momentarily peaceful as a semi-reclusive vegan bubble sounds, isolation wasn't the answer for us. To retreat away from everything we disagree with starts dangerously flirting with cult-y vibes. As much as I'm an unapologetically ethical vegan, I'm also passionate about being open-minded. We don't believe shielding the kids from a carnist society will prepare them to be in the world. And ideally, help change it for the better one day. So the answer wasn't no TV, no playdates and no kindy, it was get ready to discuss. Be ready not to fumble the conversation. Instead, lean into it.

The next time the magnetic tiles came out and I saw fences start popping up around the plastic animals, I wandered over. I tried out steering the narrative. "Are you building an animal sanctuary?" [thoughtful pause...] "Yes!" they gleefully shouted back at me. We discussed how sanctuaries work. How they needed to make sure all the animals had enough space and food, and perhaps, do we think they need a friend in their paddock? Some alarming pen-mates were paired, the lion with the horse, and yes of course the cows and the turtles will hang out. Oh and that's their garage for their trains. Naturally.

The playing was the perfect segway to a natural conversation about how conventional farms work. We covered how some people do it for their job, what kinds of animals get farmed and what happens to the animals. In an age-appropriate way, we say the facts. My children know bacon means slices of the body of a pig, and burgers are minced-up cows. It also hugely helps that I hail from a dairy farming and fishing background myself, so it's easy to help encourage them to keep a foot in the compassion camp, as I'm disclosing how we used to do this too, but then we decided to stop for reasons A, B, C. That people can change. Isn't it a wonderful thing, that we can change our minds?

Seeing their enthusiasm for it, I decided to get prepared for food-related games. Nabbed an excellent preloved mini kitchen off Marketplace and found a cute flat pack play shop set up. I stocked the stall shelves with some Melissa and Doug cardboard 'cans' (only had to discard the tuna one) and assorted fabric fruit and vegetables. My favourite find was some lovely wooden products from an Australian store, Clever Coconuts. They sell vegan play grocery items - so we had mini alt milks, tofu, hummus etc. They also have printables, a set of digital origami-style pantry items you print on sturdy cardstock and fold up. Great end result, but I did almost have an episode of mental collapse constructing them as visual-spatial reasoning isn’t my core strength. The Clever Coconuts items were fairly spendy unfortunately, but great for a birthday gift. They have been well played with for years now as the key products in our vegan market stall and chef's kitchen, and are still in great nick.

"Fishing" was the next game I wanted to kibosh. It required stepping with tact as the children's beloved Grandfather is an avid fisherman, complete with taxidermy fish on the walls. I was even-handed and objective in my description of why and how the fish dies if we take them out of the water too long, so let's not. But nets in the water can still be fun! Should we fish out rubbish to make the water cleaner for the fish who live there? Should we catch all the floating leaves to see who can scoop the most?

Pretend pet shops rebranded as playing animal shelters or vet clinics. Role-playing horse riding evolved into actual bike riding, or lets ride pretend dragons! Farms, shops, fishing, all underwent the spin. Sometimes I feel like I'm scrambling to think of what best to do or say, but also, I think that might be the universal Parenting Experience, vegan or otherwise. It's our job to help our kids make sense of the world, and raising ethical ones in a complicated society sometimes feels an uphill task. But with enough creativity, we can do anything!

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