Let them eat cake! (The one you prepared earlier.)

Mini vegans need not miss out at mainstream birthday parties

A little card in the mail or Facebook event with illustrations of fairies. "Join us to celebrate Poppy's 4th birthday party." Here we go.

The simple joy of a kid’s party gets a bit more complicated when you're the only vegan in the party village. What do you do about the inevitable array of alluring animal-based foods on offer? Decline the invite? Only socialise with veg friends? Cast aside convictions to make it easy for your offspring? Hmm, no thanks. Like everyone, I want my kid to have myriad opportunities for fun with a range of friends, but without going against our ethics. It takes a little extra planning, but thankfully it's now easier than ever to join the party and still celebrate in vegan style.

I start by contacting the host parent, thanking them for the invite and assuring them we're all over any catering requirements. Politely ask what food will be served so we can bring vegan options. This also helps clue other parents in to how many common snacks are already accidentally vegan: lots of chips and popcorn, fruit and veggie platters, crackers and hummus dips – the list goes on.

Now that you know what’s going to be on the party table, it’s time to hit the supermarket. Luckily, most outlets have your back with vegan junk any kid would gleefully scarf down. Sausage rolls and t-sauce, gummy lollies, chocolate pudding cups, not-chicken nuggets, ice cream and cones. Pro tip: Err on the generous side with your portions. Ensuring there’s plenty for sharing is a nice opportunity to advertise to a pre-warmed audience.

If you prefer to don your apron and prepare something that didn’t come out of a packet, try homemade treats like agar agar jellies, lamingtons or rocky road.

And importantly: cake. If it's being served at the party, what flavour and colour? In our house we keep a stash of cupcakes in the freezer so it's just a fast defrost, ice and voila – vegan cake option at speed. A decorating hack to effortlessly match any given theme is to deploy appropriately coloured sprinkles and cupcake picks.

The final pre-party step is kid prep. Discuss the plan in advance so your child knows what to expect. Parents of kids with allergies or religious dietary restrictions have similar chats. We usually employ a version of: "Just like when we go to Nana's, there will be some things we don't eat, so we won't have those. But there'll be lots of vegan things we love. I hear there's going to be fairy bread." Adjust script for age and stage.

In the event something slips past the goalie on the day, I go with a 'calm the [vegan] farm' strategy. By the time kiddo is midway through scoffing a gelatine marshmallow, there's no material gain to animals or the planet by making a scene. I subtly do a bait and switch for something veg-friendly, with a quiet reminder to Little Love of things we do and don't choose. No big reaction. In my book, being a gracious guest includes not shaming the hosts, but also of course being consistent with our commitment to veganism.

And just like that, you're all set for blending right in. Though my final pre-party checklist does include a test of the store-bought sausage rolls. Just to make sure they're all right. All in the name of responsible parenting, of course. Best get onto that.

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